After the crowning of the Miss Singapore Universe last Saturday, it seems I have been spending an excessive amount of time parading myself in front of the mirrors. And that was despite dropping caustic remarks that would well set the most docile of the contestants raring.
It is a general consensus that the contestants this year aren't up to standard. Imagine a William Hung look-alike and you get the idea. It doesn't help either, that none of them exhibited the slightest hint of any intellect or wit. Ah well, so Marilyn Tan says in one of her interviews that being an undergraduate is proof of her mental superiority, afterwhich she proceeded to question why the audience thought her intellect inadequate.
I give up on them.
But that aside, one must admittedly add that the contestants do score above average in terms of looks. Why else did Mr Brown dish out advice for the men to keep their drool in check? Still doubtful? Check in the mirror!
Right. So now you may argue that despite their being a tad prettier than yourself, or perhaps a little bit skinnier, they are still not worthy of the crown. And the fact that they had the guts to strut the catwalk in pink bikinis has almost negligible redeeming quality.
Yet there is cause to celebrate. For despite the lack of standards, the ladies in the pageant this year are undoubtedly gracious in losing. Well, at least on national television.
Compare and contrast the pageant with Singtel's MyDreamD8 contest and one sees the vast difference. For a US$10 000 prize and a sponsored cruise trip, the remaining of the 40 finalists have been tearing at each other, fixing alliances and screaming accusations for the past couple of weeks. So much so for a personality contest, someone even admitted to framing a classmate of some gross indecency.
And if this doesn't serve adequately as Singapore's first reality programme, there's a certain Zonda who mysteriously disappeared after being stalked by a fan named Supra. TODAY's journalist, Wendy Chang (I hope I get her name right), who is also a contestant, has also been whinning about foul-play day and night.
I assure you that each of these contestants has the capability to make it to any beauty contest. They are afterall, exclusively chosen by Singtel to be groomed into some kind of a dream date.
So perhaps, we ought to be very glad indeed, that the finalists of the Miss Singapore pageant weren't anywhere near each other's throats. Very much less interesting than if they were to sabotage each other on stage, but definitely more tolerable.
Lest you are still unsatisfied that the girls aren't supermodel quality, it may please you to know that I am training very hard for the next pageant. Participation is however subject to the availability of plastic surgery. And stop telling me that plastic surgery won't help much. Think Michael Jackson.